Cheaters & Broken Hearts - CHEATING & THE LOVE FACTOR
Cheaters & Broken Hearts - Support for those affected by infidelity

Cheaters & Broken Hearts
Support for those affected by infidelity...
Cheating and the Love Factor
When we're reeling from the hell of infidelity, we want to blame someone, and we want to make it as ugly as possible in our minds, and in the thoughts of others. We immediately think of the cheater as a monster and the other woman/man as...well, a bigger monster! But what about love?
We've been taught to believe that men only cheat for one reason--sex. But that's not always the case. In some cases of infidelity, you have to consider the love factor. Sometimes it is about love.
I know that love is hard to reconcile with the idea of the two monsters getting together with nothing on their minds but jumping into bed, only to destroy your life (and the lives of your children). But the truth is that many cheating couples, usually those with unfinished business from the past, are actually in love. They might be married to other people, but the feelings are still there. A chance meeting, in a case like that, can turn into a realization of those feelings.
So you say that it's still wrong. And you're right. You say that if they have to be together, they should first get divorced or out of their current relationships. And you're right again. In a perfect world, that's how it would be handled. On second thought--in a perfect world, that would never happen! But in most cases, they never meant for it to happen, to begin with. They weren't looking for each other. They just happened to be in the same place at the same time.
Eyes meet, sparks fly, and the rest is history. When you feel that instant chemistry with someone you don't know, it's fairly easy to remind yourself that this is a stranger, and that you can't jeopardize your marriage/relationship by getting involved with someone who could turn out to be a complete jerk. But if you know this person, and you know she is a good-hearted person with whom you have great memories and residual feelings, it's not so easy to say no to "just a drink."
Then "just a drink" turns into dinner, and dinner turns into a few more drinks, and the next thing you know, it's a done deal. They're toast. Neither was looking for each other, or anyone else, for that matter. It's just one of those things that happens. They have to wonder if it's meant to be.
Of course, it could be a test, and if you are in a good marriage or relationship with someone who is good to you, and whom you love, you would have to think that it's a test. But what if you're in a very unhappy marriage or relationship? It would be much easier to think this was part of a much bigger plan, and therefore, meant to be--especially in a situation where the odds were astronomically against your ever having any contact again. Yet, there you are.
I know that if you are the one who was betrayed, this is not what you want to hear. But look at it this way: If it were meant to be with the cheating couple, then you know that what you had wasn't what you thought it was. If that's the case, you're better off without it. I mean, you wouldn't really want him if he were in love with her, right?
You might not want to face it, but sometimes it IS about love.
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